We need to make it harder to get married than it is to get divorced
Summary
A recently divorced straphanger has a radical proposal: make marriage harder than divorce. Currently, getting married in Brooklyn costs $15, while divorce runs about $5,500. Her plan? No weddings before 39. Campaign for marriage like you're running for office, complete with signatures from your community. City hall only, no big celebrations. And put $11,000 in escrow before you tie the knot. Kareem pushes back on the economics and age requirements, while his conversation partner insists the point is making people work for love on the front end so they can get out easier on the back end. She's already been married and divorced once, aiming for five total cycles to fill out her Wikipedia page. The counter-proposal: keep marriage simple, make divorce easier, and throw huge parties for the newly single where divorcees get cake and single friends get plus-ones.
Full Transcript
So, what's your take? I think we need to make it harder to get married than it is to get divorced. 100% disagree. Wow.
A traditionalist. I always knew this about you. No.
Get divorced, get married. They should be equally easy. No.
Let me tell you why. First of all, in Brooklyn, it costs $15 to get married. Then it's $10 for like an additional piece of paper.
On average in New York to get divorced, it's $5,500. I would know. Married and divorce.
That is very chic. Good for you. I'm trying to have on my Wikipedia page like married, divorce, married, divorce.
How many times? Five. Everyone should get divorced at least once in their life.
Maybe twice. Or maybe they should just listen to my plan because this is better. One, you're not allowed to get married until you're 39.
No child brides, no child grooms. But then you're all old and wrinkly. Yeah, that's okay.
I'm 38. You look good for 38. Good job.
Thank you. Next, you have to like run for marriage. Like the way that you run for office.
You have to campaign. Listen, if you're going to West Point, you need a note from your representative or your senator. I need that.
If you're going to get married or you like need a hundred signatures for people in your community, if you want to open marriage, you got to list it on your paperwork early. How about this take? There should be no open marriages.
Wow. They should all be closed. We listen and we don't judge at Subway Takes.
The next part of the plan, city hall only. No big weddings. I can get behind that.
No more big celebrations. No big weddings. You go to a dignified lunch.
Dignified dinner. Maybe have a couple people over in the backyard. Yeah.
Like 10 people maximum. This is a small affair. Or you get a ticket.
And then you like have to put some money in escrow. Like $11,000. If you can't afford it, you can't get married.
I'm sorry. That's just how it works. Why do you want people to not get married?
I'm not saying I don't want them not to get married. I want them to get married for love. And they should do all the work because on the back end, it should be easier to like get out.
Why don't they just make divorce easier, but leave marriage as simple as it is? And then when people get divorced, we throw them a huge party. We go, "Congratulations, you did that.
We love that for you. We're celebrating cake, everything. You can have the party that you want, but you have to give a plus one to all your single friends.
I can get behind that.