There are too many states in America! We need to get rid of ten
Summary
A straphanger has a radical plan: America needs to lose ten states. Kareem hears him out as he methodically restructures the union, starting with the Dakotas becoming one state and Rhode Island getting absorbed back into Massachusetts as a "vestigial organ." Alabama and Mississippi merge. Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming become one. The proposals get wilder: selling Alaska to Canada in exchange for British Columbia and part of Ontario ("Drake for oil"), then letting Hawaii vote on independence. Connecticut? It becomes a highway. Another rider jumps in with a Senate concern, prompting a pivot to making sandwiches from the combined states. The logic is shaky, but the confidence is absolute.
Full Transcript
So what's your take? Too many states in America. We need to cut. 100% agree. All right, we start out with Dakota. We don't need two Dakotas. South and North Dakota are one Dakota now. And, and still, that's me being nice. Okay, that's still barely a state, but fine. One Carolina, one Virginia. Okay, three gone right there. Number four: Rhode Island is a vestigial organ off of Massachusetts. You're going to cut it off. It has to go back to Massachusetts.
Oh, it's being absorbed? Yep. Alabama, Mississippi: one state.
You can't combine those two. Why not? Because they're two distinct places. Since... I'm afraid to go to either of them. Bill Clinton's from Alabama.
No, he's from Arkansas. Same thing. So we've taken out five. Five: Idaho, Montana, Wyoming: one state. Okay, that's six. Vermont, New Hampshire: one state. I don't know why they're two states. It's one piece of land. We're not in a Hispaniola situation. Okay, one state. Washington and Oregon: one state. Okay, one state. Okay, this gets a little tricky now. We sell Alaska to Canada in exchange for British Columbia, which expands the Northwest, right? And then we get a little bit of Ontario that has Toronto in it. So we're conquering... All of a sudden, we're not. We're trading it. Drake for oil. Now we're up to 41 states. We still got one more to go. Which one?
We let Hawaii choose whether it wants to be independent or not. They're going to say we want to be independent. If they choose to stay in the union, then we make Connecticut a highway. Connecticut is beautiful.
Yeah, it's great in the car. When you're driving through, I cannot help always, guys. I have a couple of suggestions. When you combine all these states, you're going to reduce the size of the Senate. Yes, correct.
Okay, that's going to make all of those each of those swings much more powerful. That's true.
Why not make three sandwiches from each of these states? That's brilliant. Thank you. He's right. Yeah, all right, now I'm back in because of this guy.
Why are you talking to the metric part? Oh, because his camera's over there.
Oh, you thought we were just talk...