The seagull should replace the bald eagle as our national bird
Summary
A straphanger makes the case that seagulls should replace bald eagles as America's national bird. The argument? Seagulls are scrappy, resilient, and honest about what Americans really are. They're "feathered capitalism by any means," stealing food and thriving anywhere from dumps to parking lots. The rider recalls a seagull swooping down to steal a hot dog right out of their hands. Kareem admits he's never seen a bald eagle in the wild. Nobody has. Meanwhile, seagulls are everywhere, unfenced and free. The conversation ends with plans to launch a Change.org petition. Day one of the campaign starts here.
Full Transcript
So, what's your take? The seagull should replace the bald eagle as our national bird. 100% disagree.
See, I knew you were going to say that and I think you're being combativeed by nature, which by the American spirit is the spirit of the seagull. No, it's the spirit of the eagle.
No, the bald eagle had its moment, but the seagull represents what Americans truly are. They're scrappy. They're brilliant. They're resilient. They bloom where they're planted. A dump, a parking lot, a beach. Okay, they will make it happen wherever they are. And that's truly what America's all about. But at the same time, this is interesting. Not everything about a seagull is a great quality, but it's honest of what Americans are. They're capitalistic by nature. I once had a seagull swoop down and steal a hot dog out of my hands. They are thieves. Choke it down, laugh in my face. They're klepto parasites, which means that they steal from any other species in order to provide for themselves. They don't do their own hunting. They just rob from people. Very American. It's so the whole basis of a seagull's personality is what Americans are. Feathered capitalism by any means.
This is really good. No, no. I—I—I—I had a really strong reaction. Mostly because I with the bald eagle just cuz it's sick looking. Seagulls. I see them so often that I'm kind of like, eh. But what you're saying is that the vibe. Yeah. It's the energy. It's the real American spirit. And the fact that they're everywhere even speaks to why they should be our national bird. It would be great cuz you could take pictures of them all the time and be like, "Oh, saw the national bird. When's the last time you seen an eagle in the wild?"
I've never seen an eagle in the wild. Nobody sees eagles in the world. They might not even be real. I saw one in a zoo at Dollywood behind a sad little fence. And guess who was standing next to me? Seagull out of the cage. Yeah, they don't need to be locked down.
How do we get this pass? I feel like it's up to me at this point. Maybe you could do a um like a Change.org million signatures. Let's change the seagull to the national bird. That is the plan and this is where it starts. This is—I know. This is day one of the campaign. Get rid of the eagle. Support the seagull.