The Blue Man Group is the best thing white people ever invented 💙🧢🔵
Summary
A straphanger has a bold theory: the Blue Man Group exists to solve world happiness and racism through bald, oiled-up performers banging PVC pipes. Kareem pushes back, wondering why this rider is so obsessed with the Vegas mainstay without ever attending a show. The conversation spirals through hypothetical Hinge matches with Blue Men, debates about whether boats are a superior white invention, and the revelation that Fred Armisen was once a Blue Man. The rider insists they're not obsessed with "these freaks." Sure.
Full Transcript
So what's your take? The Blue Man Group is the best thing white people ever invented? Let me think about what they've invented, bro. They are a ploy to solve world happiness, honestly. Racism too. They're big, they're bald, they're all oiled up, they bang on a bunch of PVC pipes and they make music.
Do you think that that's why they have won a Grammy? I'm not fully convinced that Blue Man Group is the greatest creation. I think white people invented boats. I think that's a better invention than the Blue Man Group.
They walked so Lady Gaga could run. The Blue Man Group walked so Lady Gaga could... Think about it. What if you match with like a—a blue man on Hinge? This is crazy.
Why are you so obsessed with this? Because they're everywhere. Have you ever been?
No, but I've been spiritually. I feel like you know every single thing about the Blue Man Group, but you have never gone to a show. You just are sitting on the Wikipedia learning facts. Fred Armisen was a Blue Man. Did you know? Of course I didn't know. I'm not obsessed with these freaks.