Religious People Are Lying to Themselves

So, what's your take? I don't think people are actually religious.

100% disagree. I think they're ready.

Are you religious? I'm not. I'm not.

I think the people that are religious are the fundamentals that are blowing [__] up and banging down doors. Those people actually believe it. But the pseudo, the "I believe in God, but I let people live their lives." [__] [__]. Do I quit eating sugar? I've told every single one of my friends about it to try and help them get off sugar. If I thought they were gonna burn in hell, I would be shaking them awake in the middle of the night and being like, "Accept Jesus into your life, please."

Okay. So you're just saying they're not being—no one's being extreme enough? Because they don't believe it. They don't buy it.

You think the Pope is not 'cause he's not willing to like kill for it? Yeah.

I mean, not kill for it, but there'd be people running in the streets being like, "Please, you—" if your parents were really religious, they'd be begging you. There's no urgency. There's no urgency. If I thought that if you died, you would go to hell forever in a horrible place with Satan doing [__] to your ass or whatever, I would be like, that'd be the first thing I said to you. I'd be like, "How's it going? Have you—are you religious yet?"

I mean, I don't know.

What do you mean you don't know? People talk about keto. People talk about so many things all the time. If you thought that there was a God and there was a heaven and hell, people would not shut the [__] up about it, right? They would really be trying to convert you into a pious person. My aunt, she is religious.

What has she done? She texts me every day. Please remind you, please accept Jesus.

Her actual words is, "Good morning, Jordan. Please accept Jesus." Literally, yes.

She's worried about you. Because she believes in God.

You seem lost. No, because she cares.

You are lost. I'm not. I'm found.

Sister. Sister. I'm—

You are so lost. Listen to me. You're lost.

Are you familiar with the word faith? Have a little bit of it. Little faith. People can have spirituality. People can think that—take a little acid. You recognize the interconnectivity of everything. That makes sense to me. But the Bible being true and being like, "Oh my God, I better not fractionize with my neighbor's mule or whatever."

What about those people? So the people that come knock on the door and they say— The fanatics, the people who we deem crazy fundamentalists religious—those are religious. These [__] being like, "I'm a Christian, but gay. I love gays." No. No. You don't get to make caveats. You're either religious and you're against all the [__] that the Bible says you have to be against or not. You don't get to—there's no—you don't get to believe there's a dude in the sky orchestrating [__]. It's so delusional.

It's crazy.

So you think that in order to be religious, you have to be essentially a fundamentalist? You have to be one of the people on the train that are like, hot, like crazy crazy people that are like Jesus, you know, the ones.

So like your mom— She's just—what, what about your mom? We're leaving her out of this.

She's an atheist lesbian.

Okay, atheist lesbian. So she's just out. But your aunt who's like— Okay, she's texting you. What about a person that's like, "I go to church every Sunday?" [__] you. [__] you. So what? I don't give a [__]. What about the guys that, uh, the Jewish guys that don't do the thing on Friday?

None of the acidics. None of those people actually believe it.

So no—electricity is not enough for you? No. You just because you obey these laws, that's like me obeying the law that I don't, you know, vape on the train or whatever. It doesn't mean I believe in it. You know what I mean? It's just something that you do in order to get by in your society. And in their society, that's their society. They got you seen them praying on their phone by reading the Torah on their phone. They're like driving and they have it open just so they can tick the box.

So does this drive you nuts? 'Cause I would—I would—I would feel mental if I was you all the time. It drives me nuts.

So you're just looking at people, you're like— "Liar."

[__] liar. Liar." It drives me crazy. I had sex with a guy who's like a dedicated Muslim and I was like, "Nobody [__] me who believes in Allah." No way.

She's got a point.

No way. This heathen. This heathen with lesbian was like, "I'm Muslim." And you were like, "No, you're not." You just literally— No way. You're not Muslim. You just like the drugs or whatever.

The vibe. Yeah. The vibe.

The vibe is nice. The vibe is great. To be a part of a tribe is great, but it's—they don't actually believe in—

Goodness. This is really good stuff. I'm glad.

Happy Easter. Is that the day he was born or died? What the [__]?

I don't know. What are the eggs for? I don't even think Jesus was a guy. I believe he was a guy that people wrote about a random guy. He was a good guy. He was a good guy. Okay.

He was just a chill guy. Just a chill guy that we should act like maybe. But that doesn't—there's no man talking through voices of goats and [__].

Well, I'm hedging my bets.

Do you 100% agree? No.

What? I'm hedging my bets, man.

No, it's fine if you are hoping. This is fine. I'm at that level. We're all at that level. I would rather be—

We're all at that level.

Oh, I thought that was a guy. Thought that was a religious guy.

I got to go.