People with Androids Are Better Lovers
Summary
A returning Android evangelist doubles down on his most provocative claim yet: people with Androids are better lovers. Kareem isn't buying it. The straphanger argues that Android users are free-thinking rebels who don't cave to peer pressure, the kind of people who are "unhinged" in the best way. Kareem fires back with the usual iPhone user grievances: green text bubbles, low-res images, missing text reactions. His guest insists it's all outdated. "It's 2025. No one talks about blue text, green text." The conversation spirals through universal chargers, vacation itineraries, and passport organization before Kareem reluctantly admits, "the Android girlies that I've been with have been pretty good lovers." The take might be sponsored, but the passion is real.
Full Transcript
So what's your take? People with Androids are the best lovers. 100%? Disagree. No, no, no, no, no. You came on here a year and a half ago trying to tell me that Androids are better than iPhones. Androids are the best phones. 100%? Disagree. And now you're trying to tell me that Android users are better lovers? Absolutely. I'll— me some own biles. I'll double, triple down on that take.
How can they be better lovers? You want someone who's free thinking, doesn't give in to peer pressure, anything. I don't know, that seems a little selfish to me.
What's selfish about having a universal charger that everyone can use? Okay, universal charging is cool, but uh, universal messaging system. Green text. Is that what you're saying?
Yeah. I don't like the green text. First of all, let it go. It's 2025. No one talks about blue text, green text. It's a wash. Conversation. It's wash. It is an old joke. It's an old joke. It's corny.
I used to have a rule where I wouldn't date any girl with an Android. You're missing out. They're unhinged. Takes a true man to be like, you know what, she's unknowable. Too much woman for me. Well, obviously, I'm over here. I'm living my life on the edge, and also Android guy. That guy has itineraries for vacations. That guy knows where the passports are. He's just a highly organized, intelligent being.
Yes, just like me. Look, if I'm in a relationship, I want to be able to— to give a little reaction. You can react to text. What are you talking about? If you can't react, just 'cause you've been blocked, and that's not an Android problem. That's a Kareem problem, okay?
Here's another one. I don't like the low-res images and videos. I don't know. If you haven't dated since the Windows phone came out, but they changed the res. Everyone's getting all the same. Te text. Everyone's getting the pictures. Come to think of it, the Android girlies that I've been with have been pretty good lovers.
Don't look at me in the eyes when you say that.