People who wear White sneakers do not f***
Summary
White sneakers are the mark of someone who doesn't fuck, according to a rider who's got strong opinions about footwear and fornication. He tells Kareem he switched from white sneakers to "hard shoes" and hasn't looked back. The evidence? A recent STD clinic visit (he's fine) where he spotted black Nikes, Timbs, and ballet flats, but not a single white sneaker in sight. Ugg boots are the shoe of someone who has sex. White sneakers signal you're unremarkable, unmotivated, and just follow whatever commercials tell you to buy. The conversation veers into sunglasses on the train (tough, not in a good way) and whether people wearing ballet flats in winter belong to the streets.
Full Transcript
So what's your take? People who wear white sneakers do not—100% agree. I used to wear white sneakers. I wasn't—no. And then I got these hard shoes on. Yeah, a hard shoe, uh, is for a real fornicator. I, uh, I was at like a downtown alt literary reading this past week, which if you don't know is sort of the intersection of like cool people who, and you know, not so cool people that still also—so everyone's looking at the lyric, everyone there is. Everyone's horny, uh, no? Had on a white sneaker.
Do you think the Dare wears a white sneaker? No, because he, he so much—you know what I mean? It's like outrageous. Do—well of course. You know what's a great shoe for an Ugg boot?
Wow. That is not what I expected. Is the shoe of a man or woman who FBs. Um, I was at the STD clinic this past week just getting a checkup. I'm good, I'm fine. And uh, I'm looking around at my fellow, you know, rosters. And it's black Nikes, it's Tims, a ballet flat. Not a white sneaker inside a ballet flat. A ballet flat—I think that's a hoe.
I wouldn't go so far as to say if you're wearing ballet shoes out in the winter you belong to the streets. It might be tough for you to get into heaven. I don't know. The white sneaker says I'm unremarkable. So the white shoe just essentially signifies that you have no personality and no dreams and no aspirations. You're unmotivated, lazy slob who just does whatever the commercial. I think what, what really is like a fake pair of Jeffrey Dahmer blue light glasses, uh, you know, a kind of unremarkable brown beanie, like a black really warm jacket, nothing too flashy. Understated.
What about sunglasses on the train? Sunglasses on the train, uh, is is is tough. Like in a good way?
No. Oh.