Men who want to be DJs should have to go to trade school first
Summary
A woman on the subway argues that aspiring DJs should be required to attend trade school before touching the decks. Her logic? The city needs more plumbers and stonemasons, not another bro downtown spinning tracks for vibes. She tells Kareem that DJ culture needs "de-urbanization" while trade skills need urbanization, and besides, DJs are getting replaced by AI first anyway. The conversation spirals into whether she can build a bookshelf (yes, out of hardwood, not rubber wood), her favorite tool (a Phillips number two screwdriver), and which groups get exempted from her proposed rule. Gay people and women can DJ however they want, she insists. Life isn't fair. Kareem reveals he's thinking about becoming a DJ and opening for the Chainsmokers at Madison Square Garden, which lands with a thud.
Full Transcript
So, what's your take? Men who want to be DJs should have to go to trade school first.
100% agree. We don't have enough stonemasons. We don't have enough plumbers. We don't have enough HVAC people. And I think that this could really contribute to sociopolitical peace for us because I think being a DJ is a very urban job. We need de-urbanization of DJ culture and urbanization of trade skills.
Okay. What does that mean? It means that every bro downtown doesn't want to be a plumber, but they want to be a DJ. If you're a woman who dates men, do you want to be with somebody whose entire resume is just vibes or vibes and he can lay brick? You guys can't just move into a brownstone. He can build the—
No, I—I agree with that premise. This is a good—people need jobs. They do.
And you know who's going to get replaced by AI first? DJs.
Yes. So if you are thinking about becoming a DJ, maybe think of picking up a hammer. And you could make it part of your DJ persona, too, so that you seem more complex and flavorful.
Are you a DJ? No.
Oh, good. I don't know how to hang a shelf or a painting, which is really depressing. I blame that on my father. He's deceased, though, so he gets a pass. Deceased people are always getting passes.
Do you know how to hang a shelf? I do.
Dang, that's so sick. Can you build me a bookshelf? Out of what type of wood?
Hard. Okay, yeah. No rubber wood.
What's your favorite tool? A standard Phillips number two screwdriver.
Well, find you a man who can build a house— Or a woman.
Oh, this goes for women DJs, too. Oh, no, no, no. I just—for the house part, not for the DJ. No, like gay people and women can DJ however they want. They don't even know.
That's not fair. You know, life isn't fair.
I'm thinking about becoming a DJ. You are?
Are you going to play a basement? No, I'm playing Madison Square Garden. I'm opening for the Chainsmokers.
Oh.