If You Weren’t Born in New York You Can Never Call Yourself a New Yorker
Summary
A straphanger drops an absolute nuke: if you weren't born in New York, you can never call yourself a New Yorker. Period. Kareem pushes back hard. He was born in Egypt, grew up in Minnesota, and has lived in New York for 13 years. Doesn't that count? Not according to this rider, who insists birth is everything. You're Egyptian, that's it. But there's a twist: the stranger says his own kids, born in New York, are official New Yorkers even though he's suspect as their dad. The logic gets wilder when he suggests 15 years might grant citizenship-style status, only to backtrack immediately. "New York is a brand and they keep trying to infiltrate that," he declares, arguing people are just mad their parents weren't making love in the right place. Kareem signs off as a suspect Egyptian running the best show in New York.
Full Transcript
So what's your take? If you're from New York, you got to be born in New York. 100%? Disagree. I do not think that is—that's not accurate, that's not fair.
Why do you disagree with that? Because you can be from somewhere, yeah, but I can say I'm a New Yorker. I believe if Jesus was born somewhere else, it would be a different story.
We're bringing Jesus into this? It's about birth. Where you from? So you—if you're not a born New Yorker, you can never be a New Yorker? No. You can have kids in New York and they could be New Yorkers. You can live by proxy of your children. So my child who was born in New York, yeah, he's official. She's a New Yorker, yeah.
You're suspect. Okay. I'm suspect, but your child is official? Official. But Daddy suspect.
It's okay. Okay. But if I was born in Egypt—yes?—and I grew up in Minnesota—yes?—and I live in New York for the past 13 years—yeah?—I'm just Egyptian. Yeah, by New York? No. You Egyptian. That's it. That's where you was born at.
What about attitude? Style? You have the same attitude you had at the hospital. No, I don't.
Look, you're crying again. It's the same reaction out of the hospital. You're born in Egypt, you're Egyptian. That's it. That's it. That is so crazy. I mean, it makes sense. The people that are born here are the people in your dreams. When you're from Minnesota and you're dreaming about coming to New York, we're the little people that you can't see in your dreams. But we on Spring Street already. It's not exciting. So that's who we are.
I don't know. I'm a little sad. But you had kids, you did, right? You had kids in New York. They're New Yorkers, but I'm not? It's okay. You can't. Once I hit 15 years, I could say I'm a New Yorker.
15 years? But is this a residency? No. You're not. Look, yes. There should be a time.
No, there's no born residency. Can I become a citizen? That's paperwork. But you're born where you're born. That's it. Like, that's why people are obsessed—because they mad their parents weren't making love in New York. New York is a brand and they keep trying to infiltrate that.
Thanks for coming on the best show in New York, brought to you by a guy born in Egypt. Y'all suspect.