if Jesus came back right now, they would try to make him debate 25 Nazis on Jubilee
Ft. Adrienne Hunter
Summary
A rider brings the take that if Jesus returned today, "they would try to make him debate 25 Nazis on Jubilee." Kareem agrees. The conversation spirals into modern content culture: billionaires playing God, algorithms demanding rage bait, and the Messiah reduced to doing get-ready-with-me videos or posting thirst traps in his tunic to gain traction. The rider, who grew up religious and recently returned to church out of curiosity, admits the music got them emotional and jokes that "if I wasn't queer, I would definitely be homophobic too." They interpret the Bible in a progressive way. Would Jesus do Subway Takes? Absolutely. He'd use it to promote his Netflix special. His take? Horror movies are awesome. Too intense would be pancakes versus waffles.
Full Transcript
So, what's your take? If Jesus came back right now, they would try to make him debate 25 Nazis on Jubilee.
100% agree.
You got these like billionaires who they're doing like crazy, right? Like they're doing really weird stuff. They are trying to become God themselves. So, I think if all of a sudden a god were to like walk amongst us or a prophet or whoever, I do think 100% they would try to make him like play the same algorithm that me and you and everyone else are playing.
They'd be like, "Prove it. Debate me." They make their money off of like as much polarization as possible. And I do think like they would want Jesus to either like post his little Jubilee rage bait or he'd have to do like a get ready with me to turn water into wine like on TikTok.
Yeah. But because of how the algorithm works, they would make it to where if he wanted any traction, it would just have to be like a thirst trap of him putting on his little tunic.
I mean, he was good-looking.
Yeah. He looks like me.
Uh-huh.
Put the picture up. Put the picture up. Put the picture up right here.
Work. Do you think you would have been a liberal or a Republican? You can interpret the Bible in like the most like progressive or the most whatever way because of all the translations and all that. I personally interpret it in a very like left-leaning way.
Are you into Jesus? Low key. Yeah. I grew up very religious. Didn't have a great experience. And then like I lowkey started going to church like not as a joke but out of like curiosity. And like I got emotional listening to the music. And I thought to myself that like this music is so good that if I wasn't queer, I would definitely be homophobic too. You know what I mean? Like I kind of get it. I think religion when it's not used in like an evil way, it lowkey kind of makes points.
I love it.
Yeah.
Do you think Jesus would have come on Subway Takes? 100%.
Agree. 1 million% Jesus would like try to like go on Subway Takes to like spread his his his his next Netflix special.
Yeah, exactly. Jesus would do standup. [laughter]
What would Jesus' Subway take be? Horror movies are awesome.
Jesus wouldn't be on there like pancakes are better than waffles. No, that's too intense.
That's way too intense.