Everyone should have to put their s_x tape in their dating profile
Summary
A rider with extremely provocative dating takes declares that everyone should put their sex tape on their dating profile "so we know what everyone's real value is." Kareem is skeptical. The stranger elaborates with a bizarre rating system where a 10 in bed but a 2 in looks averages out to a 5, arguing you can't be jealous of the past and claiming he'd casually drop "I have that in my phone if you're interested" during dates. He admits he's actively looking. The conversation spirals through his willingness to share his own tape, old school missionary preferences, and increasingly wild backup takes including mandatory DNA testing for newborns to expose female infidelity rates. They finally agree on one thing: OnlyFans proves prostitution should be legal in America. Kareem crowns him the horniest person ever on the show.
Full Transcript
So what's your take? Everyone should have to put their sex tape on their dating profile so we know what everyone's real value is. 100% disagree.
Really? Yeah, I don't want to see sex tapes of people that I don't want to see sex tapes of.
Right, but if you have a 10 but she looks like a two, you got a five. But if you got a five who looks like a 10, you got an eight. I don't rate women.
Oh, well go through. Are you married? This ain't for you. It's for the people trying to come on, man.
So you want to see her ex-boyfriend railing her? Yeah. Ooh, yeah. You can't be jealous of the past. The past, the past.
How do you usually hit it? I was going to say raw, that's a fast answer. But no, that's dirty. Here we go. We're going to—they're going to be like this guy's crazy. I mean, I'm old school. A little face-to-face. Missionary? I mean, what do you want?
You don't strike me as—you don't—oh my god, you're definitely looking for a date right now, aren't you? That's it.
[laughter] Oh my god. So you're willing to put your sex tape out there. Oh, for sure.
Do you ask to see the sex tape? No, I wouldn't ask. I would—if if the conversation's going well enough, I'll drop it. I'll be like, "I have that in my phone if you're interested." And then they'll see it and they'll be like, "Oh, let's hang out." I'm uh, I'm going to continue to disagree on this one.
Okay, that's fine. Listen, I actually when I wrote this down I had like three takes and the other one was that I think we should have mandatory DNA testing for all newborns so that there's no more false paternity and we finally found out how much more women cheat than men. Good luck to you. Come on. King. You know I came here to ruffle feathers. You've seen my show, come on.
100% disagree. I'm out. Don't DM him. You want to know the third one? Yeah, kick it.
Only Fans. You're the horniest person that's ever been on this show. No, just—I mean, I did a sex thing. So wait, Only Fans is proof that prostitution should be legalized in America. 100% agree.
But at least we ended on one where it's where together. I'm exhausted. You exhausted, man? I hope so.