Episode 477: No dogs on the subway
Summary
A straphanger makes a firm declaration: no dogs on the subway. The rider isn't worried about someone eating Chinese food or doing their nails during their daily hour-long commute, but draws the line at "some big ass dog snuffling into my fits." Kareem agrees, especially when it's clearly an untrained, irritated animal stuck in the can with everyone else. The conversation spirals through the anxieties of subway life, backpack collisions, August heat, and the very real fear of a Doberman removing your kneecap. Then comes the pitch: a dedicated train car with astroturf, no seats, where dogs can literally run wild. It's a dog park on rails. For one glorious moment, it sounds brilliant. Then reality sets in, and the idea gets walked back fast.
Full Transcript
So, what's your take? No dogs on the subway.
100% agree. Yes, of course. The subway's for humans in my opinion.
Like, I'm okay with the person next to me eating Chinese food or doing their nails or something like that, but I spend at least an hour a day on the subway. I don't need some big ass dog snuffling into my fits.
Yes.
And me thinking, "This dog's going to go off at any moment."
That's true. Especially when the dog is very visibly an untrained dog and irritated and unhappy about being on the subway because who the hell's happy?
We're all like the dog.
We're all stuck in the can. We don't have anywhere to go. No, the problem is I can't bite people.
Although people do.
People do bite us.
You've seen much worse on the subway. But in addition to my other anxieties on the train, you know, the backpack slamming into whatever fragrances are on a nice August unairconditioned day, I don't want a wild animal removing my calf on the commute.
Calling a domesticated dog a wild animal is crazy.
You've got a Doberman in the goddamn subway about to remove your kneecap.
So, what should people do? The ones that have the dog.
This is not my problem.
This is not my problem. That's a very New York answer. This is not my problem.
It's not my problem.
Yeah.
They got to figure it out.
Do you want to see a Doberman come on?
No.
No.
I think that there could be a solution though. This is my pitch.
Okay.
A train car that is for animals.
Ah,
Like a dog park car.
Maybe MTA should adopt this as part of his campaign.
Listen to this. Listen to this. Astroturf. No seats. Standing only. And you let the dogs literally run wild.
Fantastic idea. Yeah, it's not a bad idea right?
It's a fantastic idea.
It's really not a bad idea. And people, they take you pick it up.
Okay, you know what? That's a horrible idea.