All Aliens Are Muslim

So, what's your take? Space is none of our business.

100% disagree. I—I'm trying to get to space.

You want to get to space? Of course I want to get to space.

Why? Because it's cool.

Okay. Because it's cool, but it has nothing to do with our lives. I would like to vacation there.

I—I really think it's—it's not a—a good move. It's like—it's really—I feel like rude when they tell us about what's going on in space. 'Cause you can't go. You're jealous.

I mean, there is a part of me that is jealous. But it also does feel like you're—like you're—like rubbing it in my face and like telling me about a problem that I can't do anything about. It feels like you're like—your dad is like coming up to you when you're like a kid and you're like playing with toys and he's being like, "Yo, buddy. Are you having fun? Uh, we're behind on the mortgage actually. We're like—" He's taking it away from me.

He's taking it away from you. It's like, "Bro, space." No, I don't want to go to space.

I think you do want to go to space. No, I want to fix Earth.

Okay, that's a good point. Fix Earth. We could fix Earth. We could—we could easily fix Earth, but everybody's trying to go to space.

Everybody's trying to go to space. We've given up on Earth.

But why? Earth is still good. I mean, it's mid.

Earth is mid. I 100% disagree. We have oxygen here. Why are we trying to go up there?

Because we're looking to see if there's oxygen up there because I think Earth has become mid. No, man. We're—see, this is what we're—so thirsty for aliens. It's so embarrassing that we want to go up there so bad.

Bro, I have FOMO. Do you want to go up there with the—the Nazi billionaires? And— No, I don't want to go with the Nazi billionaires. Maybe people who are rich are not allowed to go to space. But maybe we can go to space.

Okay. Okay, I see. But I—I—I just think going to space in general is tone-deaf. It's tone-deaf for what's going on 'cause people can't afford their groceries and people are like, "You know, we're going to go to space for dinner."

No, it's certainly a waste of money. Yeah, it's a huge waste of money. And I'm not against wasting money.

I'm pro space exploration. I would like to explore the universe. You're—you're out.

No, bro. There's so much here on Earth that we don't even know what's going on. And then whenever they tell us about space, I'm like, "Bro, just leave us. Let us do our lives."

Do you regret the moon landing? I don't think we needed to do any of that stuff.

You don't think we needed to go to the moon? No. It's ridiculous. Why? What? For what?

To check it out, man. It's like going to Bushwick. I've never been.

I know you've never been. I've never been to Bushwick. You know, everyone at one point in their lives, they have to go check out Bushwick. I do everything in my power to avoid Bushwick. I don't—

And—and you feel the same way about space? Yeah, 'cause I feel like—because like—that's like the ultimate like transfer. I don't even like transferring on the train. So I don't want to like have to transfer.

You could just take the L straight shot. We are taking the L as a species by going to space.

What about the—the C underground—under the sea? You don't want to check that out either 'cause that's kind of space on Earth. I just feel like there's so much like on Earth—like that we actually have to—like pay attention to and we're not paying attention to it. So that when they tell us about space, it feels like it's just besides the point. Like when you ever see like in the news when they—like there's always like an important article about like something on Earth and then they have like a space article like after that.

I always click the space article. I—I'm always like, "Bro, don't even tell me." There'll be like an article be like, "The price of eggs is higher than it's ever been. We've never seen these prices." And then like the next article will be like, "But you know, NASA just figured out that infinity is expanding double as fast as it was before." And it's like, "Okay, well, bro, I still need eggs, man. What are you talking about?"

I think—look, I agree. I think we need to fix the problems on Earth. Yes.

But space is tight. It's too expensive.

Space is tight. Space—sure, space is tight, but it's—it's too expensive 'cause you hear about all these problems.

You need to have an abundance mindset. We don't have that. We need to do—I think we need to—to eat our vegetables here. Do—eyes on your own paper 'cause there's all these stuff—these things on Earth that are like easily solvable with money—like you hear about that. They'll be like, "Okay, it'd be like—it's five billion. Let's just say $5 billion to end homelessness."

We should do that before we go to space. I—we should do that, but then every time you see that they're like, "Yo, bro, we just went to space with that money. I'm so sorry. Like, I don't know what to tell you."

It's true. It's true. They spend a lot of money going to space on vacation and not enough money fixing the problems on Earth—like homelessness, famine. No more going to space until you fix homelessness and there's no more wars. Then you can go vacation.

Okay. You know what? I can get behind this. I can get behind this. Earth first. Make America great. Or make Earth great again. Make Earth great again. Make Earth great again.

Make Earth great again. Make Earth great again. Earth first.

Make Earth great again. I'm in. Run for president. Under that, I think you would win.

Make Earth great again. This is—this is—I need to be president of the world, I think, to get this across. There should be a new position. There should be president of the world.

Yes. There should be a—a representative of Earth. Yeah.

On the universal scale. Do you have a pitch?

Yeah. For who it could be?

Me. If you went up there, I would like for the aliens to see you and for them to think that you're like, "What's going on down here?"

Yeah. They would be like, "This is sick. Let's go." They would be like, "Can we come?"

They'd be like, "I have a take." I'd be like, "You guys probably have awesome technology. Like, come fix our problem."

Yeah. That's a good idea. I'm going to space to recruit really smart, brilliant aliens. I'm bringing them back to fix our problems.

Yeah. They're like, "Take me to your leader." And then they're on the F—and then they're here. Take me to your leader. I'm like, "That's me."

Okay. You're—you're talking— I'm here. Yeah.

Yeah. I think this is a good idea. Kareem for Earth president.

I guess that is—now my take also is Kareem for president of Earth. What is it? Space Muslims.

Space Muslims. You can be president. Be vice president.

Okay. And we're spreading Islam through the galaxy. That sounds like a fun movie. Two guys spreading Islam through the galaxy. Space Muslims.

There's not enough shows about uh—Muslims in space. So, you're not curious. What's—you don't want a [blank] alien or something? No, I don't want a [blank] alien. I don't want—bro—

Why are you so upset, bro? I have a tough time dating non-Muslim people. I'm going to date an alien.

Are there Muslim aliens? Probably not. I mean, Allah is the Lord of the universe. So by that standard, all—there might be Muslim aliens.

No, all aliens are Muslim. I guess I do believe that. All cats are Muslim. All dogs are Muslim.

Martians are Muslim for sure. And put some respect on their name. Yeah, of course.